Back by Improbable Demand

Back by improbable demand, John Pettit and I return to the blogosphere as a new Major League Baseball season dawns.

Visitors to this gilded edge of the digital universe may recall that I and my cherished (if misguided) colleague rode the Blog Train for all of 2007.

After such a workmanlike performance, we contracted Scott Boras as our agent and promptly held out for all of 2008.

We now return in this recession-shrouded campaign of '09 as self-represented free agents. It's a sort of precursor to law school, should our careers as Captains of the Keyboard Cursor go the way of all flesh and industry.

Anticipating no bailout to be coming our way, John and I are looking forward to the new season. His team has followed its business model and thrown gobs of money at big-ticket free agents. My team has followed its business model of cultivating home-grown talent and taking low-risk, free-agent gambles.

His team has a brand new ballpark. My team has the same old Fenway, bane of the obese.

It will be another neck-and-neck run to October, the advances of the Tampa Rays not withstanding.
The Yankees will be strong because, for all the Monopoly money they threw around in the offseason, they spent it far more wisely than previously this decade. Their starting rotation is alarmingly good.

But so is Boston's. Josh Beckett, the right-handed equivalent of Chianti Classico, is due for another vintage odd-numbered year.

Jon Lester has proven his mettle. He beat cancer. Nothing that steps foot in a batter's box is half as daunting.

Then there's Dice-K, who somehow manages to win games.
(In the spirit of full disclosure -- a little something I picked up in pre-law class -- I must confess here and now that I cannot and will not watch Dice pitch, for he has engendered in me anxiety disorders and bladder-control issues that manifest themselves only .... when ..... he ...... takes ........ the .......... ............ mound.)

That's a Big 3, the sort of trio that can dictate a postseason series.
Should Brad Penny pan out, it's a Fab Four.
John Smoltz lies in wait as a sort of fifth Beatle (a la Billy Preston, not Pete Best).

Out of long-earned respect, I'll withhold comment on Tim Wakefield.

With the everyday players, there are three critical issues:
1. David Ortiz: More Achy Breaky Papi or a full return to Big Papi?
2. Mike Lowell's hip. We cannot have another replay of "Torn and Frayed" or, as was proven in last year's postseason, our offense will be Exiled on Lansdowne Street. (Obligatory Stones quota met; commission can be remitted to the Home Office).
3. The development of Jacoby Ellsbury and, perhaps more critically, Jed Lowrie.

Tomorrow Never Knows, but it will be telling. Ipso facto, I'll be watching.