May 19: Lay o' the Land

I've been thinking about old friend Tim Kolehmainen the past couple of days.
His Twins were in New York finding new cruel and unusual ways to lose to the Yankees and, while mowing the lawn, I found myself cutting a Minnesota-shaped pattern into the grass, which is totally weird because my yard is shaped like North Carolina.

Tim, with his background in engineering and Freudian psychoanalysis, could diagnose the cause.

Except he's too tuckered out after sandbagging his backyard in Morehead, Minnesota against last month's onslaught of the Red River.

Tim's sandbag structure, as I understand it, resembles the George Washington Bridge.
This, too, is clearly a product of a tortured subconscious.

Sorry, Tim. Try as you might, there is no bridge or ford you can forge to carry the Twins past the Yanks, who are suddenly gathering a distrubing head of steam, like the Red River.
Then again, it did subside in time, thank God, so I cast a hopeful eye to the future.

But let us tend to our own garden, brethren. With how much alarm do we view our Sox as they limp home from the West Coast and start a telling series back at Fenway tonight against the first-place Jays?

We've got holes. Yep, we've got holes. And we need sandbags.
We've got issues at shortstop, we're getting no production out of the DH spot and our much ballyhood starting pitching is still far below cruising altitude.

Perhaps the sandbags are right at hand. Revolver Beckett was sharp Saturday night, though he did benefit from some strong defense. Hopefully, Lester is on the verge of getting untracked. Dice is due back soon. Jury's out on that scene, though, as far as I'm concerned.

As for the dismal DH production, perhaps Papi will have benefited from the weekend off. Perhaps the happy confines of Fenway and the Monster will get him back in the swing. I wish I wasn't so pessimistic. Still, who among us is ready to give up on Papi?

As for shortstop, we could just sit tight until the return of Jed Lowrie, but I sense a stopgap move coming at the trading deadline. Fourth-fifths of the NL West will be out of it by then, as will half the NL Central.

Bottom line: This team is too good to go through lackluster 2-4 stretches, be they on the West Coast, East Coast or Red River.

Getting Youk back will be a huge boon, a domino effect through the lineup that will restore guys like Jason Bay to their comfort zone. Papi, though, is the key. That big gaping hole in the 3-spot has to be shored up. You don't have to be an engineer like Minnesota Tim to know that.

I'd also like to see us stop being so stagnant on offense. Too much station to station lately. Not enough running. We attempted only three stolen bases on the West Coast swing, which was anything but, since we hit .115 with runners in scoring position (6-for-52), grounded into eight double plays and left 48 guys on base.

We need to get wheels a-spinning, get defenses moving.

And I need to get off my ass and get outside. I hear a lawn mower droning. No need to ask for whom it tolls.